I take you to be my wife
to have and to hold from this day forward
for better or for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health
to love and to cherish
from this day forward until death do us part.
A great man of character no longer walks this earth, but instead bows in the presence of God this day. He vowed his life to the love of his life. Though it took many years to bring all these promises to fruition, yesterday that last promise was fulfilled… until I breathed my last.
Their marriage was precious. It was filled by many years of learning how to love, child raising, loving and serving God together, watching grandchildren grow up into adults, watching great-grandchildren take their first steps. Many years of faithfulness. Many years of joy. Many years of hardship. Many years of God making them stronger together then alone.
Until his last breath…. he kept the promise he made to her before God. Until his last breath, he chose to love her, his Bride.
We don’t celebrate the older generation nearly enough. They didn’t dump their spouses during hard years / crisis moments. They pushed thru in faithfulness and held their hearts steady and chose to love their Love.
Countless TV shows and films are wrapped up in that one 24 hr day, The Wedding. And in every family tv show/ film there is a marriage that is broken, an affair that is okay-ed.
Here’s my question: where are the films that celebrate those who actually took the words of their vows more seriously then their short lived wedding party? Where are the re-countings of the couples who practiced fidelity vs those who flaunted their infidelity?
The other day I read a quote by an old couple that were commenting on their 50+ year marriage. It read: “We grew up in a day when you fixed what was broken. Now you just throw it away.”
Might I add… We now live in a day where selflessness is inconceivable, being patient is all but practiced, having the right perspective of who you really is a foreign concept, gentleness is rare, withholding anger is inconceivable, honest kindness is seldom, true forgiveness is hard to come by, and genuine love…. genuine love would offer all of these traits and bind them up in perfect unity. For you see, these are the virtues that birth healing in any broken relationship. The lack thereof is what we see rapid today.
While you might be married or single, I don’t know. Yet I strongly believe that the character qualities that make up a great marriage can also be cultivated in any single person. Until death do us part…. we have character to build. And we have much we can learn – from those who, thankfully, came from a day ‘n age where you fixed what was broken, and took seriously the vow you made before God.
Annette – a vow’s importance is based on the importance one ascribes to who they’re making or taking their vow in front of. If it is Almighty God ruler of heaven and earth; He who is just and justifier; He who is the author and giver of life, the one who poured out His own wrath on His own Son to redeem a sinful, defiant people to Himself, and ordained the institution of marriage as a means to workout the sanctification of those same redeemed people, conforming them into the likeness of His Son, while providing the joy and intimacy in that marriage that is just a foretaste of what we will have with God for all eternity – then it will be till death do us part. Because the next line that your introduction goes onto say is; What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
So, as with most things in life, the moment we get our view of God skewed or off, it should not surprise us what follows. That is the key!
Then when we have the wrong view of God we will inevitably have a wrong view of ourselves. We will think this world is for our glory and people are to meet our needs, and will try to fulfill our purposes, plans and desires. We will then say to our spouses, as Paul Tripp explains; “I love you and have a wonderful plan for your life.” But we will never truly be happy, hence the short lived marriages, because we will be going after the things that were never designed to make us happy. Because we will be seeking “our kingdom” rather than seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.
I have to say this is your best post that I have read Annette, even though you do not say who this man is. It is probably better that way because obviously greatly moved and inspired by him, you are still making a number of more important points.
From a biblical standpoint, you know that God seemed to know what He was doing when He said older ones teach the younger ones.
But also being fair and honest, polls today show there is a higher percentage of people “who call themselves born-again Christians” who get divorced than nonbelievers. However the statistics still miss a lot. Nonbelievers are not as inclined to get married, they just live together. Also Jesus Himself said (though not popular in crowds that “call themselves Christians”) in Matthew 7:21; “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
Though even with those disclaimers, they still cannot dismiss all the statistics. But nevertheless it is really only a biblical worldview that first can make sense of the beauty and wonder of marriage, and then by the Spirit’s power fulfill all of what men and women are called to. It is true the desire to marry is ingrained in most everywhere but it has its basis in God. God’s “common grace” is far more prevalent and powerful than people realize. The goodness He shows to all people, whether they believe in Him or not. Matthew 5:45; For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
But clearly marriage is the first institution God ordained and that was also because it was to be a picture, an illustration, of the relationship between God’s Son, Jesus, and His bride – the Church. Eph. 5:25; Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Eph. 5:22-24; Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. . . But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
I guess you can see the problems from those verses in today’s culture. Men don’t won’t to lead anymore, or lead in a domineering, controlling way, but certainly not as servant leadership and show sacrificial love – and women don’t want to submit. All, the result of the fall. But only through the shed blood of Christ and His work on the cross and His perfect righteousness, when people, men and women, place their trust by repentant faith in Jesus, can they be redeemed, and their God-ordained roles be redeemed, and a marriage that’s not just “good” or even good and enduring occur, but one where the reality of Christ’s relationship with His bride – the church, can still be seen by all.
We all know people like that – Dar & Dar. And I’m afraid you’re right, they’re usually older and there’s a reason for that. It is work, but clearly more than worth it. I think I would be right in saying even the Pastor who discipled me, Pastor Kent, would say at this point in his life; “You know I’ve been married forty years and they’ve been thirty-eight of the best years of my life.”
So be encouraged! The good news is whoever that was that took their last breath also demonstrated the power that kind of life still has, and how that kind of love still impacts people – even the next generation, and a generation yet to be born. It has clearly had the impact the Lord designed it to have in you, and my guess is – it will be until your last breath.